Trusted Brands

There’s a new entrant in the mobile phone market, being roundly ignored by commuters at Brighton station this morning.

It struck me that there is a right time and a wrong time for established names to branch out into new areas. I mean, would you trust your mobile contact to Lloyds TSB?

Premonitions

Admiral Massera, one of the leaders of Argentina’s military junta, said this of the regimes widespread use of disappearances, torture and killings of those opposed to it’s hard capitalist policies:

“[it is] a war against those who favour death and by those of us who favour life… We are fighting against nihilists, against agents of destruction whose only objective is destruction itself, although they disguise this with social crusades”

Sound familiar?

Chopsticks

A lady is eating sushi next to me on the train, and she’s using chopsticks.

She’s opening it all by hand. She seperated the tuna rolls with her fingers, took one from her hand using chopsticks, reoriented it between the sticks with her fingers, then dipped it in sauce and popped it into her mouth with chopsticks. Then she ate something or other entirely by hand. The went back to chopsticks (having taken a salmon-based thing out her other hand with them).

JUST USE YOUR FINGERS YOU PRETENTIOUS BITCH!

Charity Insanity

We’re going to have loads of food left over at the wedding, because the number of guests able to come is fewer than the number we’ve paid for.

Naturally, I’m reluctant to let the hotel cater only for the people coming and take the rest as pure profit. So we decided we’d contact the local homeless organisations.

However, St Patrick’s shelter told me they can’t accept fresh food. Health’n'Safety innit?

Let’s be clear: this is not a supermarket dumping unsold, out of date sandwiches. This isn’t stuff that’s been languishing in a freezer for 6 months. This is high-quality fresh meat, fish and vegetables. Prepared and cooked to a high standard in one of the city’s best hotels. This is food which will simultaneously be served to over 80 guests expecting a delicious wedding feast.

But that’s not good enough for our main homeless centre.

It’d be easy to moan at the people who wrote the rules. But I know that they’re in place so unfortunate homeless people aren’t poisoned by Tesco giving a ‘charitable’ donation of dodgy mayonnaise. It’s also to stop Tesco being sued if they do.

I know from my experience at the Young People’s Centre that you CAN take fresh food, provided you take responsibility for it. I used to reheat M&S pies for them, that had been donated on their ‘use by ‘ date and frozen at the centre. Our food will be much better than the crap I used to serve there.

Brighton Soup Run said they would’ve taken it, but need finger food to hand out to people on the streets. Clearly some people cry Health’n'Safety while others get one with helping people.

So this isn’t about the beaurocrats who came up with the rule. This is about the jobsworth idiots who enforce it. St Patrick’s could easily say “we’re not supposed to, but who’ll know?”. They could easily take a judgement that food delivered straight from the kitchen of a top hotel is probably ok, whilst still politely declining the dregs of Sainsbury’s waste bin.  I wonder what they people who use St Patrick’s would say, if I offered them a full, hot, free meal?

Shall I tell my guests, as they tuck in, that although I hope they enjoy their meal I’m afraid it wasn’t good enough for hungry, homeless people and in fact is better in landfill than given away?

(If anyone knows a group who will take it, please let me know)

Creepy

I’m slightly ambivalent about charities tying in with consumer products. But I guess if it’s well chosen the charity can get some publicity and raise a bit of money, even if it does feel a bit of a sell out.

However, it has to be well chosen…

The other week, I was in Debenhams. And it appears you can buy “Breast Awareness Leather Gloves”.

Can you think of anything seedier sounding or more creepy than slipping on your leather Breast Awareness Gloves?

Bankrupting A Friendly Country

Ok, so Iceland’s banks got too big. It’s a country of 320,000 people with a GDP of only barely more than the debts of it’s three collapsed banks. There’s simply no way the government can pay savers back.

I don’t know quite who’s fault that is. Is it possible within the modern capitalist system for a government to order a private bank within it’s remit to stop expanding? Stop investing? Stop making large amounts of money? I doubt it.

Two weeks ago these banks were solid. It’s the outside influences and “loss of confidence” that forced their collapse.

But the UK government is doing something I can’t quite believe: using anti-terror legislation to freeze Icelandic assets. We’re about to bankrupt an entire country.

Why take it out on the people of Iceland, when the people of the Square Mile seem to be going on as normal (or at least crying into their millions)? Why not sue for the money from the assets of the banks themselves? From the people who withdrew support?

If there were losses on a comparable scale in the UK, (say Natwest, Barclays, LTSBHBOS and HSBC UK all went tits up) would our government be willing and able to pay up to investors?

Tiny Moments Of Joy

I do two things on the train every single morning.
1. I look up across the beautiful valley when we go over Balcombe Viaduct.
2. I get excited as we go past the runway at Gatwick, in case a plane is landing and passing close overhead.

The day only goes downhill from there.

A Rainy Day In Brighton

What else can you do on a rainy day in Brighton except go to the Sealife Centre?

It’s the worlds oldest aquarium, designed by the same bloke as the West Pier but in a slightly better condition. I’m told the piped “20,000 leagues under the sea” muzak is part of the original Victorian plan.

It used to have a dolphinarium, however dolphin displays are illegal in the UK. Luckily you can still get dolphin steaks in the cafe.

I wanted to be a Junior Aquarist for the day, and feed the turtles. But you have to be under 16

We’re Fucked

1. Peter Mandelson is apparently the best person in the entire country to be Trade and Industry Secretary.

2. $700 billion can be found (down the back of the sofa, maybe) to bail out the most vicious capitalists when they gamble and lose.

We’re fucked.