Bloody Ticketbastard

I tried to book tickets for Coldplay as a surprise for Penny’s birthday in December. I’m an O2 priority customer, but was on the train and my phone doesn’t like the Ticketbastard site. So I had to phone them.

It took a while to get through.

“For Coldplay, press 1″

wait… wait… wait…

“You are in a queue for the next operator”

wait… wait…

“There are two events matching your selection. Press 1 for 14th December”

“You are in a queue for the next operator”

wait… wait… wait… silence… silence…

I hang up and try again. It takes 15 minutes to get through again.

“For Coldplay, press 1″

wait… wait… wait…

“You are in a queue for the next operator”

wait… wait…

“There are two events matching your selection. Press 1 for 14th December”

“You are in a queue for the next operator”

wait… wait… wait… “Please have your credit card, blah, blah, blah” wait… wait… wait… wait… wait…

“Please press 1 for best available seats, or 2 to select your seats manually” I press 1.

“Please enter the number of tickets you require, followed by hash”. I enter two tickets.

wait… wait… wait…

“Sorry, we are unable to supply the number of tickets you have entered. Press 1 to select another event or date”.

I press 1, wrongly assuming that I’d be thrown straight to the date selection. But no, I’m back to the start and the whole thing is sold out. At least a 5 minute call.

What’s wrong with:

“Hello, I’m Tracy.”

“Hello Tracy, can I have two tickets for Coldplay on 14th December please?”

“I’m sorry, sir, it’s just sold out.”

30 seconds. All done. In fact, had a not been in the endless automated menus, I might well have got tickets straight away.

When Actors Play Politics

I generally think it’s a good thing when famous people speak out and support campaigns.

The only problem is the glaring stupidity of these people. Take Sharon Stone on China:

“They’re not being very nice to the Dalai Lama and he’s a good friend of mine.”

Shut up, Sharon. Just shut up.

Archaeology and Adventure

When I was little, there were two things that got me really interested in history.
The 1980s cartoon “The Mysterious Cities of Gold” was my first inkling of the great and mysterious empires of South America, the invasion of the Spanish and the tales of untold riches hidden in the jungle. It was in the footsteps of the cartoon hero Esteban I was following when I fulfilled my ambition of visiting Peru. Though sadly, I didn’t fly home in a golden condor.

Alongside this, who could resist the adventures of Indiana Jones? Who wouldn’t want to unearth ancient and mystic relics, while simultaneously fighting off an army and defeating the fiendish booby traps left set for 1000 years? It was all I could do to stop myself packing a whip for my trek into the Colombian jungle to the Indy-esque ‘Lost City of the Sierra Nevada’. Walking through jungle, wading rivers, meeting local Tirana indians, fracturing my elbow. I WAS Indiana. A bit.

So, how disappointed am I in his latest adventure? It’s not just the awful scene with the ants, stolen wholesale from the terrible Mummy films. It’s not just the cliched mad old man, the far-fetched survival of the waterfalls, the well-beaten roads in the impenitrable jungle or the frankly rubbish clues and inconsistencies (why say he’s in Nazca then got to find him in Cusco? Would Indy have a text book of the Nazca lines in 1957? They should also note that the Mayans weren’t in Peru, it’s the Incas they’re thinking of). It’s not even that the 1950s simply wasn’t a golden age of heroic archeology. It’s all this plus the ridiculous premise, the biologically impossible crystal skeletons, far-fetched powers, aliens and the utterly unforgiveable sci-fi ending.

And not only that, but INDY WOULD NEVER GET MARRIED! They also changed his character to an all-action hero, and not an adventuring archeologist who’s only a hero to get the artifact back for the museum. It wasn’t even the same man in the centre of all this.

It was just all wrong. I’ve genuinely had more thrills from an edition of Time Team.

On the plus side, our honeymoon will take in several sites of Mayan ruins in Mexico, Guatemala and maybe Honduras, and Penny has promised I can get a Fedora hat.

Terrorvision

Fantastic! Another reunion tour, and may there be many more…. Especially if they do strange acoustic bits again.

I Lost My Book

I left my hardback copy of Flat Earth News on the 18.07 from Victoria last night. Luckily I’d just finished it.

That’s the third book I’ve left on trains, and in each case it’s been a good one I wanted to keep and lend to people.

I hope someone picked it up, realised it’s an important and interesting read, took it with them and is enjoying it now.

I fear, though, that a cleaner put it in the bin.

I really should do more blogging…

I mean here I am, sitting on the train, thinking all kinds of exciting, creative, interesting and radical new thoughts. The world deserves to hear them.

I’ve got a Twitter feed now for the 24/7 insta-blog status updates. It’s over there —–>

Sunshine And Holidays

We’re in the midst of May and the Brighton Festival, and despite my cynical demeanour I love both. The festival always brings a buzz to town and although many of the events disappoint (the free events, The Bell and Arquiem were dull) there’s always a gem or two. I loved Aeneas Faversham Forever and I always enjoy some of the stranger things that happen around town. Above all, it’s the time when the town wakes up fully from the winter slumber but it’s still too early for drunken day-trippers.

With another bank holiday coming up this weekend, I’m hoping we’ll get time to have a nice day out. That’s the advantage of having access to a car for the first time in my adult life. We have to entertain some family friends from Texas, having their honeymoon in Europe, but Monday is all ours! Last bank holiday we went to Bodiam Castle…

A Heart-Shaped Plum